Five Years and Still Brewing

Today is an exciting day for the Via family. On this day five years ago, Tasha and I were united in marriage in Charleston, SC in the presence of God and witnesses. Now, five years later, we've started our own ministry, we have two beautiful children, and we are more unified in and committed to our marriage than ever before.

Everyone tells you how fast the years will start to go by after you’re married and begin to have children, and now I’m beginning to understand what they were talking about. I’m looking back now on five years and wondering where the heck they went. But more than that I’m wondering, “Have I made the most of the past five years?” “Does Tasha know that I love her more now than I did on this day five years ago when she made my heart stop beating when the back doors flew open?” I think she does. Because I tell her all the time. And I try to prove it through my actions. Like changing poopy diapers, for example. That speaks volumes of my love. At least, Tasha makes me think that.

I realize five years is not a long time comparatively speaking. My parents have been married for 30 years now. And Tasha’s parents well over that. We have friends who have celebrated more years of marriage than most people ever live. That’s something to brag about.

But five years still seems pretty good to me. But it’s just the beginning. For Hollywood marriages, five years is like an eternity. Five years is like the silver anniversary.

Here’s some marital wisdom to throw at you- not that I have much wisdom to offer here about marriage, but since this is my blog, I can basically say what I want. So, here’s the free bit of wisdom I’ll share about marriage. Tighten your fanny pack, because this will blow your guts right out. The two best words of council we ever received for maintaining a healthy marriage are: 1. Communicate, and 2. Regularly date your spouse.

We’re committed to those two things. We’re committed to continually getting to know each other. We’re committed to dating each other.

We’re committed to coffee. It brings us together like nothing else can. Next to faith in God, I think coffee will be what keeps our marriage ticking. I think it’s kept many a marriage from teetering on the brink of disaster. At the end of the day, there’s nothing like sipping on coffee and catching up on the little details of each other’s lives.

For us, a little time alone at Panera Bread or Starbucks or on our back porch is worth more than anything in the world. We’ve basically stopped going to movies anymore because we can’t talk in them. It’s a waste of time and money for us. We can’t connect when we see a movie. Not that we don’t enjoy a good movie now and then. But, as a general rule, we don’t count on movies to take our marriage to the next level. We count on coffee. Just kidding. But we do count on those times when we can connect emotionally and spiritually on a deeper level. And we count on those times when can just shoot the breeze and talk about whatever the heck we want to like we were 20 again when all we had to worry about was what we were going to wear to chapel the next day because we hadn’t washed clothes in 6 weeks. (Okay, so maybe that just happened to me. But you get the point).

Marriages thrive on open conversation and healthy dating. I believe that. I also believe the converse is true. Marriages dissipate when communication ceases to be a priority. Marriages disintegrate when the dating chapter comes to a close. That chapter should never end.

Happy Anniversary, Tasha.